1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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