Your face is a jimmy john
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
