I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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