Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My dick has a subreddit
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
