I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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