Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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