this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
