He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
