Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
