'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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