Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
