I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
