ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The Olympian is in my bed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
