soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
