It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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