Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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(205): View more from Alabama

Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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(831): View more from California

please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom

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(907): View more from Alaska

I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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(519): View more from Ontario

All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis

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(847): View more from Illinois

His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.

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