We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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