I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
