No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
