She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
