I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
