I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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