It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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