I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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