My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
