Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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