Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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