Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
