I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
