i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
