What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
