i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
