my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
