she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
