How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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