So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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