nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
