i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
