I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
