gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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