pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
