i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
