We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
