I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
