I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You may now shotgun with the bride
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
