My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
