i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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