i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
