You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
