Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it's like iHOP with fire
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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