i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
