When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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