A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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