We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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